Saturday, November 28, 2009

Frank Santelli

It's so weird how someone without a heart was able to get heart cancer.

I know people are wondering why I would post nasty things about my grandfather. The truth is that he is such an awful person there are not any words that could give him justice.

First off I will admit that I'm probably the only one in our family that had any kind of relationship. He has 10 kids, 17 grand kids, and, I think, 5 great grand kids. My daughter is named after his wife, my grandmother, Janet. Frank was always nice to me. He took me to Disney World when I was 4. I worked for him too. I could always see he was an asshole, but he is 100% Italian. I knew Italians had attitude. After all, I have one too!

I won't go into details about what he did to Grandma and the kids. Truth is I don't know all of it because no one will talk about it. I don't blame them one bit. But the little I do know has made me stone cold against Frank.

Grandma becomes very ill in May 2003. I also won't get into all of the details, but this was the final straw. The main problem was he wasn't going to claim Grandma's body. He wanted her buried in his family area at the local cemetery. Luckily the children were able to get power of attorney and have Grandma buried in HER family plot in her home town Hinckley. She was finally able to escape from the evil that is Frank Santelli. We thought she could finally be at peace with her family.

He doesn't give up. He buys 12 plots in the cemetery and right across from her he erects a monstrosity of a headstone for him. He even has pictures of her laminated on the stone. It was bad enough that we were always nervous about going to the cemetery because we never knew if he was going to be there.

This man, Frank Santelli, is a monster. I hate him for what he did to my grandma, mom, and her siblings. HOWEVER!! There is ONE good thing that came out of all of this. He showed my mom and her siblings what not to be like as a parent. I will never thank him for my mother. I'll thank Grandma for my mom.

Is it un-Christian of me to be like this? It's not up to me to forgive him. I won't forgive him. I blame him for Grandma's death. I blame him for her smoking. I blame him for everything.

It's a real shame he was able to live this long. My father's parents, Shirley and Arthur, were great people. Even my mom doesn't have anything bad to say about them. They died in 1978 and 1981. Grandma died in 2003. Now it looks like Frank will died in 2009. My dad's dad is unfortunately still alive.

Why is it the good die first and we're left with the awful ones? Why do we have to say goodbye to the ones we love and adore, but have to continue living with those we hate? Why? WHY????? Why did Grandma have to pass away? How come Frank was able to live another 6 years? It's so unfair.

I miss my grandma so much. She was so special to me. At her wake I knelt next to her and swore I would name my first daughter after her. I miss her so much. So very very much.

You can think me a cruel person, but I am happy Frank is going to die. I'm happy he has heart cancer. I'm happy that he won't be contaminating my air.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Now I Need To Vent A Lot

I don't even know where to begin.

Guess what. When I have free time I am going to be so selfish about it and use it as me time. I feel bad as it is neglecting things, but fuck!! I am really stressed and overwhelmed. I'm my best friend's matron of honor next month and I know I've been a bad one. I haven't been responding to emails and texts lately. When I get time to sit down and think I get selfish!! I surf the net, I catch up on my DVR, read the news or I take a nap. After Janet goes to bed I spend time with my husband since that's the only time we get by ourselves.

When I have free time I don't want to do shit. I don't want to do work. I don't want to think.

I am so frustrated!! I think everything will be okay on Monday after Janet's party. Shit, I've even been neglecting that!!! I just realized I have so much to do for it.

Is it so wrong of me to be selfish with my free time? I don't have time to think of others it seems. I have time to think of Janet and when she's sleeping I think of me.

Also, I'm not sacrificing my sleep at night. With a sleeping disorder I can't. I have to get 7-8 hours of sleep. So no I won't stay up later. I will not cut down on my sleep. Sleep is sacred when you're a parent.

I just want to escape!! Also, I hate hormones.

Need To Vent A Little

I thought it would be boredom that would get to me. I don't have time to be bored. There is always something to do. It's loneliness that is getting to me. I feel so lonely. It doesn't help that I have social anxiety. It's not like I want to go out and do stuff. I wouldn't mind even just hanging out at home with other adults.

I love staying at home with Janet. I'm so incredibly lucky to be able to stay with her, but there are so many times I feel like she is my only friend. I'm feeling left out. I love it when she takes a nap because then I can get more chores finished, but it's also when it really sinks in how lonely I feel. Man, I used to be totally okay without anyone in my life. I loved being alone. But since Janet came along I feel the need of having adults in my life.

I want to be involved. I am so jealous of Zac because he gets to go to work everyday. I never thought I'd ever say that. He gets to escape. He gets to go to work and talk to friends. He gets to spend time with adults!!

I wish family lived nearby. It would be easier to escape with them around. I wouldn't feel as guilty to ask them to come over and watch Janet while Zac and I did stuff.

But in the end Janet's needs and wants trump mine. I'm shocked how I've been able to put me second. I used to think I couldn't be a parent because I am very selfish. Not anymore!

Shit. This could also be because I'm PMSing and hormones are out of whack.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

One Week

Next Sunday Janet turns one. Wow. That's all I can say. WOW.

It is by far the best day of my life. I never knew I could love someone so much. I never knew I could be so happy. I never thought I'd change. Why has God blessed me so much?

Many of my family will say religion has gotten to me or friends have. But they didn't make me change. Janet made me change. Janet gave me a whole new perspective on life. I was always selfish, putting my needs and wants in front of everyone's, including my husband. It was always about me. Me me me me me!!!

Then Janet came along. I'm nowhere near as selfish as I used to be. Janet's happiness and well being is my #1 priority. She is my everything. I will stop at nothing to make sure she is comfortable. All of my needs and wants come second. I'm hungry at the same time as Janet. Tough shit. Janet gets fed first.

Janet is my life. Janet is my princess. If Janet is happy, I am happy. If Janet is sad, I am sad.

I wouldn't change it for anything.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Then So Be It........

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and this is my final solution: I really do love Janet more than anyone or anything in this world. Yes, even more than God. If that makes me a bad or fake Christian in your eyes I do not care. Fact is I believe in God. I believe Jesus is our savior and He died on the cross for our sins. Zac is my main spiritual advisor and he has told me everything is between God and me. I don't care what others think of me. I'll answer to God when I die. If you're not going to like me because I'm a hypocrite look in the mirror. At least I will admit I'm not a perfect Christian/Catholic. I admit I have faults. I struggle with my faith everyday. Also, maybe you shouldn't like any Christian unless they are as perfect as God. Do you know any? Yeah, me either.

I could survive without God. I could survive without Jesus. I could survive without Zac, my family, and my friends.

However, I absolutely CANNOT survive without my daughter. Besides, without her, I would have never fully accepted the fact that there is a God. My marriage to Zac really helped pave the way, but Janet sealed the deal. I look at her everyday and am convinced there is a higher being. I don't know how else I managed to get so lucky to have her as my daughter.

If I lost Janet you might as well lock me up in an asylum. My heart aches from all the love I feel for her. There is so much love there my heart can't contain it. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's my greatest accomplishment. She is my life. A life without Janet is not worth living.

So there you have it. You don't like it, oh well. It's between God and me. You want to call me a hypocrite or a bad Christian because of this then seriously look in the mirror because I highly doubt you are also a perfect Christian.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Life Without Janet?

The case of Jaycee out in California really had me thinking. Would I be able to survive without Janet? If she was kidnapped I don't know what I would do. I'd be dead to the world. I always thought that since she is a daughter her daddy would be the over protective one, but I don't think that is the case. The maternal instinct in me is so incredibly strong. She is my everything. I look at her in the monitor and the thought of anyone hurting her physically or emotionally brings tears to my eyes. Zac and I have it planned out that her boyfriends think they should be scared of Zac when in reality they should be scared of me.

I read stories of mothers intentionally harming their child. It disturbs me when fathers do it, but there's something about a mother abusing her child. As a mother I am my child's ultimate protector. Mothers should not harm their child. The bond there is indescribable too. I didn't just help create her. I baked and gave birth to her!! I remember I cried when her belly button fell off. That belly button was the last thing that kept us connected physically. It really broke my heart when it fell off.

People ask me why I'm so political all of a sudden. They ask me why I'm not liberal anymore. The ones who are following blindly with all of Obama's plans do not have children. With every bill that is written and every plan being said out loud I see Janet and my future children's futures go down the drain. Anyone with a kid would not approve of these programs and plans. I see their basic freedoms being stripped away. My parents and others tell me it's no use and to stop wasting my energy. I will not go down without a fight. I will not stand by and watch my children's future collapse. I won't tolerate it. I won't do it. At the 9/12 rally in Washington DC a woman was holding a sign that said "An angry mom is worse than an angry mob!" She is right.

Remember A Time To Kill? Yeah, you put a hand on my daughter I'll go Samuel L. Jackson on your ass.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I'm Disgusted

Yes I read and watch Fox News. Yes I read conservative blogs and papers. Guess what! I also read and watch CNN. I also read liberal blogs and papers!! I really do enjoy getting both sides of the story. I just hardly post them because I don't agree with them. Since I prefer to get my news from Fox I don't think for myself. I don't get it. Aren't these people being hypocrites? The other news sources report the news the exact same way Fox does, just with a different angle. So, how is that we who prefer Fox News don't think for themselves, but those who watch CNN do? Um, what?

I've had it. I am sick of playing nice and respecting other people's views and opinions when they trash my own. I'm sick of being told to think for myself when I think the others don't, yet I don't say a God damn thing because that is THEIR RIGHT to have their opinion. You want to watch CNN or read The New York Times? Great! Good for you! You have that right! I don't care. Just don't bash me on my news source because it's different from yours.

I remember growing up and there was an emphasis on being yourself. Don't go with what the majority want if you don't want to. I was with the majority on Bush and got along so well with my liberal friends. My friends who were Bush supporters didn't treat me any different. My entire family, even all the in-laws, are Republicans and Bush supporters. They didn't bash my views or opinions at all. I didn't do it to them either. But now that I disagree with the liberals I've been handed a scarlet letter. It's really sad that it comes to this. The liberals forgot how much we got along, but disagree with them, you all of a sudden have leprosy. They don't want anything to do with you. If you are even a little different from them they don't want you around. My conservative friends embraced me even though we disagree on many topics.

Yet I'm still pretty liberal with social issues. But since I don't agree with them on everything anymore we can't get along. I read links that my liberal friends post and I read the comments. I refrain from saying anything because I value their opinion and view. That is what makes America great. We can disagree with the government and each other. We're allowed to have our own individual personality.

Honestly, this really does make me sad. It makes me so sad that we can't embrace each other's different opinions. All of my best friends voted for Obama and as much as I disagree with them I don't say shit. Like I didn't say shit to the Bush supporters.

I have great liberal friends who do respect my opinion and this post is not directed towards you. Quinn and Erika, even though I disagree with you I am so glad we've been able to be respectful towards each other and treat each other like adults. You listen to my arguments and I listen to yours. We know we won't change the other's mind, but we still listen.

America is wonderful mainly because of free speech. I treasure the 1st amendment almost as much as I do the 10th.

I know I have lost my temper and I hate it when I do, but those who know me know I only do that when I am extremely pissed off. I try to follow Thomas Jefferson's advice: When you're angry count to 10. If you're really angry count to 100. Sometimes I just can't do it. I'm human.

I'm not a rebel. I don't think I am because I disagree with the MSM or the government. I can't believe how sad this is making me feel. I'm really losing hope in humanity when we bash people for their opinions. I refuse to cut off friendships with people because of their views. Another great Thomas Jefferson quote: I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. Yet now I do feel like doing it. My views and pessimism make people puke, yet my views and pessimism with previous administrations didn't.

If you want to defriend me for this post go ahead. I just can't bring myself not to defriend someone over a difference of opinion. Just quit bashing where I get my news from. I don't do it to you. I don't go to your page and litter it with insults. Just be respectful no matter how much you disagree, especially to my other friends.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Democrat? Republican? NEITHER!

Is it really a cop out when people like me declare that we are not Democrat, not Republican, not liberal, or not conservative. It's wrong to think for myself? It's wrong for me not to join a group? If you disagree with one of those parties they shun you. God forbid you disagree with them on anything. You see how the Democrat Party are treating the Blue Dog Democrats. Ouch! I don't want to belong to a group that pressures you to think and act like they do.

Democrats won't touch me because I'm pro-life. Republicans won't touch me because I'm all for gay rights. Democrats won't touch me because I do not want big government. Republicans don't necessarily want big government, but lately they've been wanting enough government to make me uncomfortable so they don't want me either.

Good. I don't want any part of either of them.

I'm a Libertarian. I'll say it over and over again too. I AM A LIBERTARIAN! Yes I do lose my temper when people call me a right wing nutjob, conservative, or Republican. I'm sick of it. The people who are calling me out seem to forget the fact that a year ago from today we were agreeing. It's amazing how people easily forget that. Ask anyone close to me. They know I would rail against Bush in a heart beat.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Hang My Head

Once again I feel the need to tell everyone that I am a LIBERTARIAN. Just because I am siding with those against the health care bill does not mean I'm a Republican. It does not mean I'm on the right wing. It does not mean I'm conservative. It also doesn't mean I'm anti-reform! I am anti-H.R.3200 - America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009.

*Shakes Head*

I'm not a member of either party for one main reason: THEY SUCK. If you do not agree with every single issue on them they push you away. I encourage you all to go to their website,, and find out more about being a Libertarian. I've posted this before, but I'm doing it again.

The Libertarian Option:
  • Substantially reduce the size and intrusiveness of government and cut all taxes.
  • Let peaceful, honest people offer their goods and services to willing consumers without a hassle from government.
  • Let peaceful, honest people decide for themselves what to eat, drink, read, or smoke and how to dress, medicate themselves, or make love, without fear of criminal penalties.
  • The U.S. government should defend Americans and their property in America and let the U.S. taxpayer off the hook for the defense bill of wealthy countries like Germany and Japan.
Since health care is a hot topic issue, here is the Libertarian view on it: We favor restoring and reviving a free market health care system. We recognize the freedom of individuals to determine the level of health insurance they want, the level of health care they want, the care providers they want, the medicines and treatments they will use and all other aspects of their medical care, including end-of-life decisions.

(I'm going to do this in segments. The bill is 1018 pages and I don't have time to air out all my grievances with the bill)

The way the bill is worded now, in just a few years, everyone will be on the government plan. Section 102: Protecting The Choice To Keep Current Coverage

(a) Grandfathered Health Insurance Coverage Defined- Subject to the succeeding provisions of this section, for purposes of establishing acceptable coverage under this division, the term ‘grandfathered health insurance coverage’ means individual health insurance coverage that is offered and in force and effect before the first day of Y1 if the following conditions are met:


(A) IN GENERAL- Except as provided in this paragraph, the individual health insurance issuer offering such coverage does not enroll any individual in such coverage if the first effective date of coverage is on or after the first day of Y1.
So if you get a new job and they offer health insurance through a private company you CANNOT TAKE IT. So your CHOICE is taken away. If you do not have insurance when this bill is passed you HAVE to take the government plan.

(b) Grace Period for Current Employment-based Health Plans-


(A) IN GENERAL- The Commissioner shall establish a grace period whereby, for plan years beginning after the end of the 5-year period beginning with Y1, an employment-based health plan in operation as of the day before the first day of Y1 must meet the same requirements as apply to a qualified health benefits plan under section 101, including the essential benefit package requirement under section 121.
SCARY! So 5 years after this bill begins all companies must conform to the government model. The entire thing. If they do this then why bother paying for it? We might as well get the government plan. That means the private companies will go under and where does that lead us? TO A SINGLE PAYER SYSTEM!!

What if I don't want the government plan? As a Libertarian I am all for free markets. But like I said the way the bill is written now this will not happen. I want to keep my CHOICE.

I'll post more later. But please read the bill for yourself!

Friday, July 31, 2009

My Summer Reading List

Most people choose light reading for the summers. Well, not me. I have been enjoying a lot of politically driven books. It sounds boring, but we NEED to understand our history and what is going on in the nation and world today. I used to be bored by politics and the news, but they are both so incredibly important to our well being. So here are a few of my recommendations.

Of course anything by Bernard Goldberg, but here are a few of the best.
1. Crazies to the Left of Me, Wimps to the Right: How One Side Lost Its Mind and the Other Lost Its Nerve
Anyone who isn't a far left extremist or a right wing extremist would enjoy this book. It talks about how the Democrats have strayed away from being a party that really was for the working people and how the Republicans sold their small government values for power. How can anyone trust any person from either party? It's an eye opener!
2. 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (and Al Franken is #37)
Here's the product description from Amazon: Bernard Goldberg takes dead aim at the American Bashers (the cultural elites who look down their snobby noses at "ordinary" Americans)...the Hollywood Blowhards (incredibly ditzy celebrities who think they're smart because they're famous)...the TV Schlockmeisters (including the one whose show has been compared to a churning mass of maggots devouring rotten meat)...the Intellectual Thugs (bigwigs at some of our best colleges, whose views run the gamut from left wing to far left wing).

3. Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto by Mark Levin
Mr. Levin is very polite in his book. Instead of referring to the people in charge as liberals he calls them Statist, which is the better term. After all, calling Nancy Pelosi or Barack Obama liberal is an insult to the REAL Liberals in this country. But the Statist isn't limited to the Democrats. He has quite a few Republicans too. Mr. Levin makes valid points about why we NEED to return to the real America without a powerful government.

4. New Deal or Raw Deal? How FDR's Economic Legacy Has Damaged America by Burton W. Folsom, JR.
This book did the most for me. All through school I remember being taught FDR was the greatest president ever and the New Deal saved America. It also brings to light an American president who deserves more attention: CALVIN COOLIDGE. Did you know we were headed for a depression that probably would have been worse than the Great Depression? Yes we were in 1920. Mr. Coolidge adopted laissez-faire attitude and guess what! The economy recovered in a year! Yup, Mr. Coolidge and the government backed off and everything recovered on their own. FDR should have learned from Mr. Coolidge.

Janet's Baptism

Sunday is Janet's baptism. I only hope it goes smoothly. It's from 1-2:30 and that's J's naptime!

I'm Catholic, but not very religious. But I do believe in God, mainly because of Janet and the video we watched at the baptism class reminded me of it. One of the mothers said that when she looks at her son she knows there has to be a God. How else do you explain such a beautiful thing?

I look at Janet and I know God has to exist. I used to think the making of life was simple, but I would read the weekly updates during my pregnancy at Baby-Gaga and it was just so wonderful to read about her development every week. The one thing that impressed me most was that right when the sperm fertilizes the egg EVERYTHING about Janet was determined. Even though it was a batch of cells Janet existed. Her gender, eye color, hair color, and even what hand she would write with was chosen.

At the class we had to write a letter to our child. I told her she is my world, my life. I also told her that a person's religion and faith is a very personal decision. If she goes to a Methodist service with a friend and decides she wants to explore that faith I will allow it.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Michael Vick

Yay, Michael Vick is being reinstated in the NFL. I hope no teams picks him up. Any job is a privilege, whether it's an NFL quarterback or a 9th grade English teacher. Most ordinary jobs, like my previous ones, would never take anyone back after being in jail, especially federal prison. Why should Vick be any different?

Most people know I love animals. I donate regularly to the ASPCA and encourage people to adopt a pet instead of breeding. I don't eat meat, but I also don't push my vegetarian views on anyone. I'll tell Janet about being a vegetarian, but if she doesn't want to I'll be okay with it. I think all of God's creatures should be treated well. I wish the people who slaughter the meat for food would do it in a more humane way. I also wish the animals were treated more humanely before they were slaughtered. Quite honestly I prefer animals over humans. Sometimes I think my cats are smarter than a lot of people! However I do not associate myself with PETA. I think they are too extreme and even the Humane Society can cross the line.

Anyway, I know that Man is the top mammal in the food chain. But you can tell a lot about a person's character by how he treats those, how do I say this, who are not on his level. That is why I cannot associate with people who are so evil to animals. I think this quote from the Bible fits nicely: "To Whom much is given, much is expected" Luke 12:48.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Weight Challenges

Before I was pregnant with Janet I was working out everyday and sticking to my Weight Watchers diet. I lost so much weight and was actually down to a 28" waist when I found out I was pregnant. Of course WW went out the window and instead of regular cardio I did yoga.

After I was finished breast feeding I went back on WW and we were taking 2 hour walks every day. I was down to a size 8 in March!! Then the weather started to get really warm and walks were cut down and eventually cut out for good. I eat when I'm stressed out, especially chocolate chip cookies. So I was making them and eating them without any exercise or portion control. I went to Target to get non-maternity shorts. I realized I was now a 12/14. Yesterday I weighed myself and it said 158lbs. I about burst into tears. I was down to 140lbs before March!! I'm barely 5'0" and my normal weight should be 120-125lbs.

Yesterday I started back on WW and ordered exercise DVDs. I will do the exercises when she is taking her long afternoon nap. I really don't like public gyms. My work had a great gym and I liked working out there. I swear I will do better portion control and not pig out on chocolate chip cookies. I will also not eat a ton of Honey Nut Cheerios in the morning!! As soon as it gets cooler, which is usually October, we'll continue our 2 hour walks in the morning!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Man's Greatest Achievement

Yesterday on CNN they posted an article asking about man's greatest achievement. It got me thinking. What is man's greatest achievement? It's hard not to top the moon landing.

Zac said antibiotics and I'd have to agree with him. I'd like to also add in vaccines. Think of all the diseases we've been able to cure. Think of all the diseases we've been able to stop before we get them! Polio. Measles. Mumps. Tetanus. Tuberculosis. Now they have a vaccine for chicken pox.

I'd also add the written word and the printing press. I'm bias, though, since I love to read and write!! But they both made communicating with others so much easier. Think about it. Before the written word stories were told orally and as a result were changed or even lost forever. Writing was able to preserve these stories forever and in the way the creator wanted it. The printing press was able to distribute these stories to everyone. Branching off of this is the Internet.

How about agriculture? The ability to grow food to feed so many people.

What do you think?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

My Baby Is 8 Months!

Time. I hate time. It's awful. Remember the episode of Seinfeld when Kramer decides to never wear a watch or look at a clock? I wish that is how we all operated. Time drives us crazy. Schedules restrain us. It causes stress. Both my mom and Zac are incredibly jumpy at the airport until they get through security. Am I the only person in the world who doesn't get stressed at the airport? You can be as stressed as you want, but it's not going to make the check in line move any faster. It's not going to make the security line go any faster. This is what time does to us and if I had my way I'd do away with time.

Time moves way too fast. THAT is what irritates me the most about time. J turned 8 months old on Wednesday. I nearly had a panic attack. My baby is almost 1, I've been out of high school for 10 years, moved away from Illinois 13 years ago, been married 4 years, been with Zac 5 years, and been out of college for 6 years. My grandmother passed away 6 years ago too. Can you believe July is almost over?

Zac's job takes up way too much of his time. I complain about his job and I will always complain about it when I feel it treats him unfairly. I will never feel guilty about it. I will never feel guilty about missing my husband. Janet misses her father. I may hate time, but it is precious and the time he spends at home is priceless. You never know if tomorrow will come.

I was in Oswego for over a week and ever since we left in 1996 it isn't easy to leave. Every time I go there I realize that no matter what Oswego will ALWAYS be my home. Even when my parents move back to Clear Lake Oswego will still be home. I miss it so much. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss walking among Chicago sports fans. I miss Chicago!! I miss everything about it. I've never told anyone this, but the night before I return to Texas I always cry myself to sleep. If the cost of living in Houston wasn't so reasonable we'd be back up there in a heart beat. You really can't beat the cost of living in Houston. I am very blessed that Zac can be the only one bringing in the money and we can live very well on it. In Chicago both of us would have to work. I'd have to work at least part time.

We went to visit my grandma at the cemetery. On her grave stone we taped a picture of Janet in my arms. It was the very first time I held her. I remember kneeling next to Grandma at her wake, promising her that no matter what my first daughter would be named Janet. If the guy I was with didn't agree I wouldn't be with him. But I think about it and even if she was still alive I would have named Janet after her.

I blink my eyes and my baby girl gets bigger and bigger. I love her more than anything else in this world, including the Cubs. I say that a lot and the people closest to me knows that is a big deal. The Cubs trumped everyone and everything, including Zac! But not my baby girl. I'll never get over how my priorities changed the minute I became pregnant. My life revolves around her. Her needs and wants go above us. I'm hungry and make lunch, but then J decides she is hungry. Oh well! I put my needs aside and feed her. We only have clean dishes because she needs clean bottles!

Being a mom is incredibly stressful and hard. I wouldn't exchange it for anything in this world. Even if the Chicago Tribune came to me and said they would give me the Cubs in exchange for Janet I would say no. Janet is my life. Janet is my world. Nothing beats the look she gives me when I go into her room in the morning. Nothing beats her reaching up her arms for me to pick her up. Nothing beats her "hugging" me. Nothing beats knowing the fact that my voice and touch can calm her down. I swore my daughters would never be princesses or divas. Well, Janet is a princess, diva, and drama queen.

I guess I'm just babbling. I could have just said Janet is 8 months old and I love her more than anything. Words won't be able to ever express my feelings for my baby girl.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

100 People Screwing Up America

Anyone can tell from my latest Twitter updates and even Facebook updates that I am a big follower of Bernard Goldberg.  He tells it like it is and doesn't care what party you belong to or even who you are. If you're goofing up he will call you on it.

One of his best books in my opinion is 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (and Al Franken is #37). It was published in 2005. I think he should update this list every year though. Anyway, it's a very diverse list. Democrats, Republicans, liberals, conservatives, whites, blacks, and everyone in between.

I'm not going to share the entire list. I'm just going to point out and talk about a few of the ones that I found the most interesting. Everyone should buy this book. Actually, buy all of his books!

#96 Eve Ensler
She is the woman who wrote The Vagina Monologues. I never read them and had no desire to. I especially don't want to now. There's a scene between a 24 year old woman and a 13 year old girl, which was later changed to 16. The 24 year old got the 13 year old drunk and has sex with her. Pretty disgusting right? Not to Ensler! The 13 year old girl said that if it was rape it was a good rape. Excuse me? A good rape? 

#95 Courtney Love
All he said about her was HO.

#93 Richard Timmons
Sick bastard. On June 8, 1997 he brutally murdered 3 people: his wife, his 7 year old son, and his 13 year old stepson. Thankfully he was given 3 life sentences. But then he decided he was a victim too!! He decided to sue NYC $80 million because the police beat him. He did admit he couldn't remember everything from that night. Why? From all the drugs and alcohol he consumed. But he knew one thing for sure!! The police beat him, even though there was no evidence to support him. Actually he got along well with the police that night! He was hungry on the way to the station so they took him to Burger King!! The jury took less than an hour to come back with a verdict saying he gets nothing.
At the same time someone else was suing a hospital because they saved his life. The heroin stuffed condoms broke into his stomach. He never consented to the operation and his lawyer said the surgery him emotionally and physically scarred. Yeah, he got nothing.
So what's the point of this? The fact that people can get the stupidest cases heard, wasting tax payer money and the court's time.

#90 Michael Jackson
No explanation needed.

#84 The Vicious Celebrity
Bernie put in a few, but this one disturbed me the most.
SEAN PENN: "I am not disturbed by Ronald Reagan's Alzheimer's. You know, there's not a lot of cleaner pictures of karma in the world. I mean, it's not a very Christian way of thinking. I do stray sometimes. But I go right from him mocking the farm workers and eating grapes on television during the boycott to him dribbling today. And I feel a sense of justice."
How could anyone not be disturbed by seeing someone with Alzheimer's? I do not like Ann Coulter at all, in fact I despise her, but it saddens me to see anyone with Alzheimer's and yes it would sadden me to see her with it. 

#83 The Dumb and Vicious Celebrity.
DAVID CLENNON (star of the CBS show The Agency) "I'm not comparing Bush to Adolf Hitler - because George Bush, for one thing, is not as smart as Adolf Hitler."
Seriously? Is it because you don't want to insult Hitler, who murdered more than 6 million people just because they were Jewish? I don't agree with what Bush did and I never liked him, but I'll take him and his policies any day over Hitler and this is coming from someone who would have been safe in Nazi Germany.

I'll do some more later. 

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Gay Marriage - Equal Rights For Everyone!

Gay marriage. The fact that this subject is even a debate is laughable. A law saying who can and cannot be married should not even exist. It's sad that is the way it has to be. It is sad that there had to be a Civil Rights Act in order for black people to get equal rights. It's sad that there had to be an amendment for women to vote. 

I've said before I'm not liberal or conservative. I'm a Libertarian. I believe in equality for all. I'm not going to pick and choose who should and shouldn't be married by who they sleep with. EVERYONE should be able to be married under the law. I agree that we should not force churches to marry people they don't want to marry because we need to keep government and religion separate. Anyway, being married in a church is not legally binding.

First off, I want to know why anyone cares what two consenting adults do behind closed doors. WHY DO YOU CARE?!?!? Don't you have other things to worry about? For all I know my neighbors could be really into S&M, but I don't care. It's none of my business. Why do you care who that man or woman goes to bed with? Why should you judge someone on that?!? 

I will never ever understand how a person can judge someone else on their skin color, sexual orientation, gender, nationality, or religion. It just boggles my mind. 

And who knows? Maybe my children will be gay. Will I care? No! Should I care? Absolutely not. And if they are gay I want to make sure they are just as protected as their father and me. They are people too. If my daughter wants to marry her girlfriend more power to her!! I will only object if the woman is not good enough for my daughter. Oh who am I kidding. No one, man or woman, will ever be good enough for my daughter! LOL!! :-D

And don't bring religion into this. If you're going to bring the Bible up for your defense USE THE WHOLE BIBLE!! Do not just pick bits and pieces that fit into your ideas. The Bible even contradicts itself on issues. I wasn't raised with religion (both my parents are atheists), but my husband was and he said the Bible shouldn't be taken literally. 

I've said before I respect everyone's right to free speech and their right to their opinion. But one thing I will not tolerate is hateful speech. You can debate all you want on my wall, but when you start calling homosexuals fags that's when you have crossed the line.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Planned Parenthood Needs To Be Shut Down!

I used to think Planned Parenthood was great. It was a great way for women to get all kinds of medical care, not just abortions, at a reasonable price. But then my friend showed me a different side of Planned Parenthood. Now it makes me ashamed I even supported them.

There is this non-profit organization called Live Action. They are doing a Mona Lisa Project, in which they go to different Planned Parenthood clinics, posing as a minor who was impregnated by their very much older boyfriend, like 31 years old. These people are covering up sexual abuse and figuring out ways for these minors to have abortions without parental consent. Excuse me, but the LAW is that a parent MUST be informed before a doctor does or gives ANYTHING to a minor, including Tylenol! I wrote to my friend Lauren, who showed me the videos, my thoughts on them and I'm going to copy and paste them for you.

First off, they don't even make you take a pregnancy test before they talk to you. I remember I couldn't even see the OB-GYN nurse until she had a positive pregnancy test!! Secondly, when they found out they were minors, they should have said that they wouldn't even discuss ANY option without a parent present. Thirdly, they ONLY discussed abortion. They didn't discuss ANY other option. Fourth, they didn't discuss any of the risks for an abortion. I also want to know why it is so easy for the patients to get a judicial waiver for an abortion!!!!! And the counselor said to lie about your age to the judge. Um, why aren't the courts checking for an ID? I find that fishy too and would like that investigated. It should be very very very hard for a minor to get an abortion. Abortion and no surgical procedure should be taken lightly.

Of course, the fact that they were covering up sexual abuse made me the sickest. Do they really think they are above the law? And then to show them that a neighboring state has no parental consent? It made me ill to know that my home state Illinois doesn't have parental consent!!!

And then I saw that they were taking donations and earmarking them to specifically abort African-American babies. OMG!!! Then I read about how in some they really did send girls back to the men who were molesting them including a BIOLOGICAL father and step-father. Of course, Planned Parenthood say they didn't do anything wrong. Sorry, but NO ONE is above the law. 

I'm just in shock. Absolute total shock. 

Sunday, April 19, 2009

What Is A Libertarian?

For my first I need to address the obvious.

I am asked that question often. Most people think I am a moderate because I tend to fall in the middle. I AM NOT A MODERATE. To me, a moderate is someone who stands by and does nothing while watching someone do something awful. Think of the South Park episode about the South Park flag. The citizens who said yes it's racist, but it's also freedom of speech are moderates.

I am a Libertarian. I am a Catholic. But I do not consider myself a Libertarian Catholic or a Catholic Libertarian. I do not allow my religion to influence my views and I do not allow my political positions to influence what religion I follow. I believe in God. I will also not assume his position in ANY issue. NOBODY can tell me that God is pro-life, against the death penalty, etc. No one knows for sure. Instead I will ask Him when I meet Him.

Yes my views fall in the middle, but I have a firm belief in each issue. Take these for example. I am pro-choice. I am pro-death penalty. I am pro-gay marriage. I am pro-marijuana. I am pro-minimal government. I am all for legalizing victimless crimes. I am a very firm believer in separation of church and state.

That is the one thing I do not like about the Republican and Democrat parties. They do not allow any wiggle room. It seems to me you cannot be a pro-life, pro-death penalty Democrat. You cannot be a pro-choice, anti-death penalty Republican.

I received all of this information from the website

This is my favorite entry: The Libertarian way is a logically consistent approach to politics based on the moral principle of self-ownership. Each individual has the right to control his or her own body, action, speech, and property. Government's only role is to help individuals defend themselves from force and fraud.

Click on the above link. In the issues you can click you will see that they do not state abortion, gay marriage, or other social issues that aren't affected by our tax money. Why is that? BECAUSE IT IS NOT THE GOVERNMENT'S BUSINESS WHAT WE DO IN OUR DOCTOR'S OFFICE OR BEDROOMS. Libertarians want minimal government in our lives.

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts.
  • We believe that respect for individual rights is the essential precondition for a free and prosperous world, that force and fraud must be banished from human relationships, and that only through freedom can peace and prosperity be realized.
  • We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose.
  • Governments throughout history have regularly operated on the opposite principle, that the State has the right to dispose of the lives of individuals and the fruits of their labor. Even within the United States, all political parties other than our own grant to government the right to regulate the lives of individuals and seize the fruits of their labor without their consent. We, on the contrary, deny the right of any government to do these things, and hold that where governments exist, they must not violate the rights of any individual: namely, (1) the right to life -- accordingly we support the prohibition of the initiation of physical force against others; (2) the right to liberty of speech and action -- accordingly we oppose all attempts by government to abridge the freedom of speech and press, as well as government censorship in any form; and (3) the right to property -- accordingly we oppose all government interference with private property, such as confiscation, nationalization, and eminent domain, and support the prohibition of robbery, trespass, fraud, and misrepresentation.
  • Sexual orientation, preference, gender, or gender identity should have no impact on the rights of individuals by government, such as in current marriage, child custody, adoption, immigration or military service laws. Consenting adults should be free to choose their own sexual practices and personal relationships. Government does not have the authority to define, license or restrict personal relationships.
  • Recognizing that abortion is a sensitive issue and that people can hold good-faith views on all sides, we believe that government should be kept out of the matter, leaving the question to each person for their conscientious consideration.
In other words, people need to take responsibility for themselves!

Another question I am asked: Are you liberal or conservative? I am neither! Here is what the Libertarian Party had to say about it: 
Libertarians are neither. Unlike liberals or conservatives, Libertarians advocate a high degree of both personal and economic liberty. For example, Libertarians advocate freedom in economic matters, so we're in favor of lowering taxes, slashing bureaucratic regulation of business, and charitable -- rather than government -- welfare. But Libertarians are also socially tolerant.  We won't demand laws or restrictions on other people who we may not agree because of personal actions or lifestyles. Think of us as a group of people with a "live and let live" mentality and a balanced checkbook. In a sense, Libertarians “borrow” from both sides to come up with a logical and consistent whole -- but without the exceptions and broken promises of Republican and Democratic politicians. That's why we call ourselves the Party of Principle.

Just as I mentioned above. Being a Libertarian allows me wiggle room. I cannot belong to the Republican party because I am pro-choice. I cannot belong to the Democrat party because I am pro-death penalty. 

I also cannot stand it when people tell me I wasted my vote on Ralph Nader. If someone votes it is not a waste. It is not a waste to stand up and let everyone, especially the government, know where you stand. I let the government know that I am sick and tired of the Democrats and Republicans. I let everyone know that I am ready for a third party candidate to be in office. 

Tomorrow I will post on some thoughts by my favorite Libertarian, Bernard Goldberg and his book Crazies to the Left of Me, Wimps to the Right: How One Side Lost Its Mind and the Other Lost Its Nerve.